Misbehaving Child

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chootad

Once again I have a child who has been a pain in my ass.  Yes, she has been a real wise ass of late.  Being a smart ass that she is known to be, she got her ass on the line and had her ass handed to her when her ass was kicked to the curb when she chewed someone’s ass out over something that really was a half-assed reason.

It sounds as cold as a welldigger’s ass in January but she deserved getting her ass in a squeeze.  It would be nice if frogs had wheels, they wouldn’t bump their asses but we are talking about my child here and she doesn’t give a rat’s ass over anything except her own ass.  I have gone ass over teacup trying to tell her how she has to get her ass in line with all the other asses in this world if she wants to be successful in life and not some ass-kisser.

She does not care.  All she says is stop blowing smoke up her ass and stop being a tight ass and stop getting into her ass.  But it is clear that I am to hold my ass in hopes that she won’t take it up the ass and be up to her ass in life.

Ugh!

Children!

They can pull anything out their asses and drive any parent out of their ass.  They can be so ready to stack asses and tear anyone a new ass over the smallest things and hang someone’s ass in retaliation if they do not have others sucking their ass.

My ass!

Not on your ass are you getting away with this.  Your ass is grass and there is no way I will be dragging my ass in whipping your ass over this as clown antics.  Your ass is in a sling now, kiddo.  I am going to be an ass so you do not turn into an bad ass, you ass swipe!  You will be busting your ass over your big ass remarks.  You better get your ass in gear and stop grabassing or you will get your ass handed back to you in a hundred pieces.

I might be a hard ass but I really do care about your ass.  I hate to see you kiss your ass goodbye over your jackass moves.  You might accuse me of having a pickle up my ass but you have your head up your ass.  No more talking out of your ass and open a can of whoop-ass and get a hair up ass and bust ass and become the best person I know you can be.

Ruined Dog

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cal991212cldPoor Jack.

He is my dog.  He used to be a nice dog to have until Sara ruined him.c19742_lcats_kitten_and_dog_ow

Yeah.

Ruined a perfectly good dog.

Jack was great in that he was only fearful of cats.  That changed when Sara decided to freak the dog out during a thunderstorm a couple of years ago.  Now he shakes at every crack of thunder, every lighting of fire crackers and even to people talkingwoman_huge_firework outside.

We have removed our carpets in place of hard flooring and because of this, Jack makes an odd clicking noise as he trembles and his nails clatter on the floor.  He gets his whole body in this fearful vibration.  I am actually jealous.  I am wondering just how many calories he is burning.  I decided to try to comfort him in the middle of the night, after kicking him out of the roomman_carrying_giant_firework during a thunderstorm because he was shaking the bed so much, I touched him and he was hot.  It was like touching a child with a fever; there was so much heat coming off of himman_dog_giant_firework.

This week has been hard.  Victoria Weekend is one of three times in the year where Canadians can light off fireworks.  Jack hates this weekend as it gets really noisy and he will shake for hours after the last cracker had cracked.  And now, when I am expecting to have a calm and settled dog again, a series of thunderstorms roll in these past few days.

No rest for my pet.

And he is not allowed to be with me during it. Sara ruined him and Sara can have him in her room as she tries to sleep with a shaking dog.