Movies can really enlighten you. Movies have made me think of the possibilities of aliens and cures for diseases. Movies expose me to conspiracies and rational truth. Movies entertain and delight. Movies can also mess with your head.
I just put Caitlyn to bed and crawled under the covers myself. All comfy and cozy. And then I hear something that annoys so many parents right as soon as slumber takes over: the shrill sound of a child calling for you.
Instantly I am gripped with a fear, a paranoia that is making it really hard to be cool and calm. I am doing all I can to suppress my emotions of panic and feebly reassure myself that it is most likely nothing. This is harder than I could have imagined.
I am a natural coward. If there is the option to ignore a problem, I will ignore it. If there is the option to run away, I will run as fast as my legs can carry me. If there is any way I do not have to confront or do anything that involves the remotest amount of bravery, I will do all I can to cowere into myself. But this was my kid.
But then again, this might be really scary. I found that my legs did in fact work and they seemed to be driven by a sense of curiosity to find out what this creepy light was. But the upper half of my body, the part where my brain resides, did not want to get out of bed and rather had Caitlyn fend for herself.
I have found myself watching a lot of horror movies in these past couple of years. For the most part, I avoided this genre as it is totally and completely implausible and a lot of times it is hard to be sympathetic to the victims because they are usually a bunch of brain dead morons. There is a lot of common themes that are in a bunch of horror movies that I have been watching. First is that there is some sort of creepy disturbance that only reveals itself to one person (in the beginning and then ultimately everyone). And secondly that the first person that sees these creepy disturbances is undoubtedly a child. Caitlyn is indeed a child and is very much indeed seeing a creepy light.
Logic is so hard to rely on when one is gripped in fear and panic. Yet with each step towards the bedroom of my youngest offspring, I did all I could to muster the logic that I so very much needed. I am just a step from entering her room and I am expecting to see some spinning spectre on her walls; a demon from the underworld calling out to take the soul of my beloved daughter. I inhaled and considered for a moment that this might very well be the last breath of my life. I stepped into the room and …
The creepy light was the tiny little light that was on her laptop that indicated that it was still on. There was no evil menace ready to consume the soul of all the damned. There was no need for the panic and near hysteria that I felt for those mere seconds that it took me to cross the hallway. I was a moron. I assured my kid that the light was nothing sinister and she fell asleep before I could even leave the room.
So stupid I felt.
I know that these horror movies do not exist and that their premise could never possible exist and yet for the briefest of moments, I lived in a horror movie.